Aside

10 Signs you are a Bikini Competitor

In the past 4 months that I have been preparing for my first bikini competition, Emerald Cup; I have picked up quite a few interesting habits! I decided to write a blog post about them, and after meeting and talking to several fellow competitors, I’m glad I’m not the only one experiencing these perpetual habits! Correct me if I’m wrong ladies, but this is what a majority of us are doing or feeling:

1) You look at food porn – Your Facebook feed is cluttered with not only buff people to motivate you, but food and recipes that you continue to hit ‘like’ but can’t eat! The more times you ‘like’ food photos, the more you’re gonna get in your feed! This is pure torture, but we must be masochists because we do it anyways. We also have boards on our Pinterest with HUNDREDS of pins of the foods we can’t have until post competition. Mac n’ Cheese casserole, hot fresh cinnamon rolls, ‘Slut’ brownies, ‘Kit Kat’ lasagna…. you name it, it has a special home on your ‘Secret’ board 🙂

hungry2) Your sense of smell is heightened – That’s right, your taste buds haven’t been getting any action so therefore you compensate through your third sense…. SMELL. You can smell pizza from a mile away, the fry oil from Taco Time is orgasmic, and don’t even get me started on the fresh baked chocolate chip cookies that come out of the oven at the Microsoft café…. seriously a death trap. I wonder how I’m alive still. I give my hubby a kiss after dinner, just so I can smell the salsa from his burrito…. does that make me weird?!

3) Your favorite part of the day is where you get to eat almond butter (or PB2) – Word. True story. Couldn’t be any truer. I just had my first meal of the day at 5am and I’m counting down the hours, minutes, seconds until I can smear some PB2 on my rice cake and stuff my face hole. Too bad there’s this thing called ‘moderation’ or I’d eat the whole sleeve of rice cakes and bust out the real PB. I crave FAT. I’ve got a whole stash of nut butters, but we’ll talk about that later 🙂

4) You chew a piece (or pieces) of gum for 2 minutes – The life expectancy of a piece of gum for a bikini competitor probably maxes out at 5 minutes. If you have lost your flavor, you are dead to us. We’re moving on, time for a new piece. Before you know if your whole pack of Extra Desserts Mint Chip Ice Cream is GONE, leaving you bloated wishing you had the real thing…. calculating how many weeks or days until you can splurge on all the tasty things you’ve been deprived of for months.

My cookie subscription came JUST IN TIME! Can't wait to try the Halo Halo flavor!

My cookie subscription came JUST IN TIME! Can’t wait to try the Halo Halo flavor!


5) Your Amazon Wish List is food
– Need I say more?!?! I have everything from limited edition pop tarts and oreos, nut butters, new flavors of protein powders, jelly beans for Easter, Stroop waffles, and so much more! Same concept as Pinterest, except I have Amazon Prime, so once I hit ‘order’ those bitches are coming in the mail in 2 days! Those 2 days couldn’t come any quicker. I’ve probably spent the same amount of time adding food to my wish list as I do in the gym. Better than going out and eating it though, am I right?


6) You have a fat stash of goodie post show (who doesn’t?!)
– I got the ‘Rewards Box’ idea from a gal on Facebook. GENIUS! Any time I come across a treat I can’t have, I buy it anyways. I have the satisfaction of knowing that once I step off stage, those goodies will be waiting for me and I will have a wide variety to choose from and share with my new friends 🙂 Wanna hear what’s in mine?! 6 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies, Newman’s Own Dark Chocolate PB Cups, jelly beans, Cadbury Eggs, Reeses Eggs, Peeps (I’m the only one who likes Peeps on this planet), White Chocolate Lindor Truffles, Limoncello covered almonds, Dark Chocolate covered coconut, Quest bars, Maranatha Almond Spread, Peanut Butter, and the Chicago Style Popcorn from Costco…. AND MORE! You name it, it’s in there.

7) You like watching other people eat food you can’t have (maybe this is just me?) – This very well COULD just be me….. I have developed a habit of collecting left over catering food from work, carrying it around ALL day to bring to my husband to watch him eat it and tell me how goooood it is. Treats range from cheese cake baked by co workers to brownies, chocolate oatmeal cookies from the café, to the ADDICTING granola from our Catering team. He tries to make me feel better and says it’s gross, but I know better, my third sense of smell knows better…..

8) Your life has become GYM, TAN, POSE!The monotonous routine of GYM, TAN, POSE, GYM, TAN, POSE has taken over your life, leaving you very little room or time for anything else. Priorities that were once there before have fallen to the wayside, good or bad. This can be a sad reality for some, which is my case. I have little time to spend with my husband, give attention to my dog or my cat, and I have to skip out on a lot of weekend family outings. As you can imagine, I have a lot of things on my bucket list for post comp! Walking my dog and taking her to the park more often, cooking something besides chicken and turkey for my husband for dinner, going out to Yogurtland with my step-daughter on the weekends….. one more week, I can taste the freedom! ….. and that juicy burger from Rock Bottom 😉

ashley9) You spend hours on YouTube watching the Pros: India Paulino, Amanda Latona, Ashley Kaltwasser etc. – “How do they move like that?!” you say, “How does she transition so smoothly?!” you think. I’ve spent countless hours watching videos of the Pros, pausing, rewinding, re-watching. Some of my favorites include Amanda Latona and Nicole Nagrani, just to name a few that have inspired me throughout my prep. I have learned so much from YouTube, but have also learned a lot from gals being gracious enough to teach me, watch me, and give me pointers. I’m lucky to know such great ladies!

10) Your waking thoughts, thoughts throughout the day, and thoughts when you lay down at night at all about your competition and journey – This describes the past 4 months to the ‘T’. Everything I do, think, eat, and plan is ALL related to my prep and how it’s going to effect me. I wake up thinking workout, tanning, posing, meal prep, macros etc. All day I’m pep talking myself up for my workout because I’m always so freakin exhausted after work. At this point, it take a lot of mental effort to get myself to the gym and push out a session. At night I’m thinking about the next day, or counting down the days until I step on stage and can enjoy that burger. EVERTHING – I – DO – IS – PREP – RELATED.

 

I guess you could call my dedication borderline obsession, and I couldn’t agree more. I have become obsessed, and it’s EXHAUSTING! I’m so thankful to be a part of the health and fitness community. The people I have met, spoken with, and have followed are extremely supportive and encouraging. I couldn’t have asked for a better support system, not just the people I have connected with through this experience, but my family who has shown extreme patience with me when I have been a raging B****. Saying I haven’t been pleasant would be an under statement! I can’t wait to give back my undivided attention and spend quality time this summer with friends and family. This has definitely been an experience! I can’t wait to check back in and fill you guys in with the deets post show!

Stay tuned! Thanks for the love and support 🙂

 

~Jess

 

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