Shit just got real.
In approximately 24 hours or less, I will be standing on stage showing off my physique and 5 months of grueling hard work. Like I’ve said many many times before, there are good days and bad days. Some days I felt downright weak and mentally drained, losing sight of WHY I was going through with this and putting my mind and body through so much stress.
When I started this journey to the stage, I had every intention of winning. I was going to place 1st in my Class. I was going to become sponsored, earn my Pro Card, and become a media sensation in the fitness industry. My goal was to win and make a career out of this sport, paving my way to fame and notoriety, and finding a way out of my ‘customer-service-slacks-and-blazer-desk job’.
Reality began to sink in a month or two later and I become more set on the idea of placing Top 5 in my Class. I have a banging body, excellent trainer, the ability to gain muscle quickly, and the will power to say ‘No’ to treats at work…. why not?? That seems feasible right? After all, I’ve been scoping out the competition from previous Emerald Cup’s, I think I might stand a chance.
Another month went by and I hit a plateau. I wasn’t losing weight, I wasn’t seeing any progress and I was picking apart every aspect of my body anytime I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. “My ass isn’t high enough OR big enough, why the hell do I still have a crease?!” “Is that cellulite or does the lighting in this room suck?” “Why won’t my obliques come out and STAY out?!” “I shouldn’t have eaten that peanut butter……” and so on and so forth. I was getting real sick and tired of being so damn self critical! I wasn’t giving myself any credit for the progress I had made, it’s like my progress up until my plateau was completely invalid.
Piece of advice: Don’t pick yourself apart. Compliment yourself, and give yourself credit where credit is due.
You are freakin’ beautiful, no matter what anybody says, no matter what the judges say, no matter what you place or what’s written on your score card. The only person’s opinion that matters is your own. At the end of the day, your happiness is all that matters, and the experience you gain through this journey. The journey isn’t over at the end of the show, fitness and health are a life style change and the great thing about it is how versatile it is.
After I had stopped stressing about my body and everything I thought that was wrong about it, after I had accepted, “Yeah, this is my body, I better start loving it because this might very well be my stage package…..” …… I started seeing progress! I started seeing the results I wanted! The amazing thing about our bodies is that they can hear what you’re thinking…. they know what goes on in our heads and we can’t psych ourselves out. I’m extremely proud of where I’m at today! I am a firm believer that there can always be improvement, but for my first show, I’m beyond happy with the package I’m bringing.
I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter how I place, I’ve already won and gained such a new perspective on fitness, nutrition, and training. I’m a freakin’ strong person for having the will power to tough it out day after day, week after week, month after month. I have COMPLETELY transformed my body. I was happy with my body before, but I am utterly impressed with the next level I brought it to while training for Emerald Cup this year.
It’s been tough. It’s been really REALLY tough. There have been days ended in tears, countless hours and weekends spent away from family, birthday and holiday celebrations missed, and friends put on the back burner for so long. I’m ready to step on stage, show the judges, audience, friends, and family what I’ve been working so hard. Bring it on Emerald Cup! You have been in my waking thoughts for months, as well as my dreams at night.
So ready to make this happen.