I’ve got a nasty case of the ‘post comp blues.’ The photo on the left was taken 3 days before my competition, and the photo on the right was taken 2 days after my competition.
I’ve been putting on weight like crazy, holding water like no one’s business. I’m getting downright depressed. I made the mistake of stepping on the scale today, and guess what? I PUT ON 14 GOD DAMN POUNDS! How the eff does THAT happen?!?!
My whole entire body feels puffy, bloated, and swollen. I have ‘kankles’, my feet are swollen and they ACHE. Every inch of my body feels soft, it’s so hard to workout carrying around 14 extra pounds…. it’s sad, I can’t even keep my balance. I started crying once I stepped off the scale. I’m embarrassed to go to the gym, I don’t want anybody to see me or talk to me. I’m wearing PANTS to the gym, I’m not confident enough to wear shorts 😦
Of course this week is 80 degrees and absolutely gorgeous, the ONE week this year where I want to wear shorts because of the heat, I am embarrassed because of my sausage legs. A lady saw me at the gym right after I stepped off the scale and asked me how my competition went and I broke down crying, so pathetic. I felt so embarrassed, but she encouraged me and told me I’m young and would lose the weight in no time.
Yes, I know the competition body isn’t maintainable, but 14 freakin’ pounds?!?! I did a number on myself, and I hope I can recover.
My competition weight was 111lbs and I currently weigh 125lbs. I weigh more than when I began training for Emerald Cup!
Here is my plan:
I will take the remainder of the week off. Derek says my body needs to reset after putting it through hell. I will start back up training on Monday with a new game plan, hopefully by then I will have shed some of this water weight. I also cleaned out my kitchen of any left over goodies from my ‘Rewards Box’. Holy shit, I didn’t realize how much I actually had! I had Snickers, Hershey Cookies n Creme bars, Mr. Goodbars, Babe Ruth’s, Reeses eggs from Easter, Peanut Butter Cups, Cadbury Eggs, Pop Tarts, Lindor White Truffles, M&M’s etc. I kept very few select candies (the nicer ones) and hid them in a shoe box on the top shelf of my cabinets for when I can control my cravings better, and the rest I am taking to work.
I am going to start eating cleaner too. To be honest, the past few days I have been on SHOVE MY FACE MODE, with anything BAD. I’m not going to worry about my portions and macros until next week, just eating cleaner foods and less sugar.
I hurt my body, I put it through hell, it will take time to find that perfect balance again, but I KNOW it’s possible. My goal is to weigh between 115lbs and 118lbs. Just another goal! I’ve been through worse! Time to find a healthy life style balance I can maintain!