Vow to My Health

Alright guys, I’ll be real with you.

I know everyone is probably so sick of my post comp blue posts, my loving and hating of my body, my on and off again with diet and exercise, blah blah blah.

I’ve become so sick and tired of putting in work at the gym and eating right for aesthetic purposes. Yes, I freakin’ miss my rock hard lean abs, YES I wish my ass was tighter and my cellulite would disappear. The reality of it all is: I will NEVER have that body back, and no matter how much I tell myself I CAN have that body without hurting myself it’s just not true.

Sitting at 8% body fat is not normal or healthy, and it’s a mind trip as well as a massive detriment to your body. My whole blog is about promoting fitness and health. There is nothing healthy about living off of 1,200 calories a day and working out 2 hours a day 6 days a week and nearly passing out from malnutrition. There were a lot of truths I didn’t write about that I was experiencing on that 6 month journey, and I still can’t admit to all of them. I will tell you this: I’m not proud of the things I did to achieve that stage body. I’m proud I did it, but not HOW I did it.

Today I vow to have a new outlook and perspective on fitness and health:

I vow to never hurt my body for aesthetic purposes,love
I will fuel my body properly for all the daily functions I perform,
and for all the extra physical activity I do.
I vow to use proper nutrition to the best of my ability,
but to also treat myself and live a little because what’s a celebration without good food?
I vow to not obsess about the scale or my outwardly appearance,
but to maintain a good balance of self awareness.
I vow to start training how I WANT to train,
instead of letting aesthetics dictate how I train.
I vow to treat my body and mind with the utmost respect,
and to become a better person on the inside and out,
in doing so becoming more selfless and aware of others.

You won’t be hearing my woes or diet and weight loss struggles any longer. I want to practice self love regardless of my butt, abs, or thighs. From now on, only positivity 🙂

I will no longer be practicing IIFYM, I’ll eat when I’m hungry. I will no longer be weighing or measuring my body, I’ll train to eat and eat to train 🙂

Here’s to a refreshing change of perspective!


4 thoughts on “Vow to My Health

  1. It’s been soooo long girlie! But I am with ya 100% with this post. I’m seriously following the same on again, off again pattern. I decided I wAs gonna compete again, then I decided against it, not I decided I would do it again, but I decided just yesterday that it’s a really bad idea, for my body and mind. It’s so comforting to know I’m not the only one STILL struggling with this shit. And I too vow to live a more balanced and healthy life that’s not focused in aesthetics. It’s okay that we will never be that lean again. It’s not healthy or normal to be at such a low body fat percentage.
    I’m right there with ya with train to eat and eat to train mentality! We got this girlie! Back to being healthy — body, mind and soul. 🙂


    • Hey! There you are, I’ve been wondering where you disappeared to on IG, I miss your blog posts 🙂

      YES. The struggle IS real and I know a huge percentage of competitors deal with this too. Although I admire the people who consistently compete, living that lifestyle doesn’t make me happy.

      I could never subject my mental and physical health for aesthetics again. Not to mention it’s so straining on me as well as my friends and family. It’s a tough freakin sport, but it’s not for me.

      There is more to life than lifting heavy things and eating chicken, brown rice, and asparagus. For me…. I love running, eating, and kicking it with nature and hubby. Those things make me happy, so I’m gonna keep doing them 🙂

      I’m glad to hear you’re on the road to loving your body again too! It’s a tough one, but I’m right here with ya! 🙂


  2. Hi! This is my first time reading your blog so I haven’t read about your competition yet. I just wanted to say that I admire your honesty and I wish more competitors would do the same. You are a beautiful, strong girl and you are doing a wonderful thing in sharing your life for others to see.
    You will love the way you feel when you fuel your body properly again. Good luck! Prayers your way!

    • Thank you so much, I appreciate the kind words! Some times I feel like I struggle with this alone because people are still so caught up in the competing world.

      I’m finally healing, recovering from the damage I did to my body and I’m finding happiness with my new lifestyle. I hope I can inspire others to do the same, people who might not be as comfortable with talking about it, or for anyone who really struggles with loving their body. Thanks so much!


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