Short Excerpt of My Stressful Life

Hey People! I know, I know, I’ve been a terrible blogger! I believe all my “realistic” New Year Goals have gone out the window. Life has been crazy, work has been insane, and school has kept me busier than a bee. Everyday I try to conjure up a topic to write about, but nothing structured comes to mind, so this entry will be “free writing.”

I guess I’ll start by saying I’ve hardly had time to catch my breath. In between school, work, keeping up with my workouts, and being a wife and mom; I’ve been editing my resume, connecting with outside sources to find a new job, and really contemplating what I want to do in life for a career overall.

My friends are having babies and buying houses, and here I am still trying to figure out what the hell I want to do in life, discovering what sort of imprint I want to make on the world. I truly thought fitness and health was my calling, but the way I see it, people have their resources. If someone really wants to get in shape, they can go on Pinterest, YouTube, Bodybuilding.com and figure it out.

Yes, health is important, but I feel like I can be involved in something bigger. What is that? I have no fucking clue. To ease my mind and give myself a little direction towards what classes might be beneficial to take next quarter, I took a personality test. Whishy-washy bullshit you might say, but it doesn’t hurt right? I’m in school and gotta earn credits, might as well explore my options. I took the Career Test and categorized as an INFJ. I- Introverted N- Intuitive F- Feeling J- Judging. I listed a few recommended careers below: careers Based on the potential career choices, I registered for Psychology 100, Philosophy 115 – Critical Thinking, and Math 99 (just because I need to reach college level… almost there!). Hopefully these courses will give me a little insight on what I might like to do in life or what I might be good at. I really don’t care about money, I don’t need to be rich and fancy, I just want to be happy, and make a difference in the world while I’m at it.

To be honest, it’s been a really stressful quarter, a stressful kick off to the New Year in general. I’ve been driving myself crazy with the possibilities of the future, hoping that I’m taking full advantage of my resources, worrying if I’m doing everything right, and hoping I’m making the best use of my time and not wasting a moment. I’m tired. I’m overly critical. I can only hope that I’m taking steps in the right direction.

On top of my young life crisis, I have lost touch with a lot of my friends. I have said, “I have Kaienna this weekend” and “I have too much homework” too often that people have stopped extending invitations altogether. Should I let it bother me? No, but I let it from time to time. I’m 23 years young, I’m in my prime.

The weight of responsibility. One small step at a time.

~Jess

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