Feeling Like a Failure, Obscene Pain

I’ve been feeling more down and out about my ‘skipping the gym’ habit. Today marks day 4 in a row, I had every intention to hit the gym this morning.

I’ve been experiencing this HORRIBLE pain in my upper abdomen for the last week and a half, it started after lunch every day and would increasingly get worse and worse, a radiate towards my back. At first I brushed it off as, “Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that soup.” Then I ate salad. After that I said, “Maybe the dressing was bad.” Sunday it was awful, but the worse was yesterday afternoon. The pain has been more consistent after meals, not JUST lunch time. Last night I woke up in pain at 12:30pm, it messed up my sleep schedule since I had woken up thinking it was time to go to the gym. I went back to bed and just decided that sleep was more important. Maybe it wasn’t the best decision, maybe I COULD have gone to the gym.

This pain is getting worse and worse. Today I barely touched my salad, mainly because the leaves were so soggy, but a few bites in I started feeling that awful growing pain in my abdomen. It’s really beginning to interrupt my life and stress me out! I really REALLY don’t want to go to the doctor and shovel out money to be a guinea pig when I probably have one of the million things I read about online. I also don’t have the TIME to go to the doctor. I’m cross training a new position at work all week, have my Power Point for my Winter Training due on Friday, we’re completely 100% FULL this week, and it’s MY week to set ALL the rooms! Not to mention, this weekend we have a Christmas party to plan for!

Kinda of unnecessarily freaking out right now. I just need to pump some iron and get my sweat on…. hands down. I just need to do it.

I need to figure out what’s wrong with me too. It doesn’t matter how much peppermint tea I drink and anti acids I take, it hurts and will gradually get worse in a few hour time frame until it subsides. Seriously hope I’m okay. Starting to feel the winter blues….

~Jess

Zero Sleep

***UUUuuughhhhh***

Not my idea of a great way to start the week.

Last night I was experiencing EXTREME pain in my middle/lower back and abdomen. Extreme pain where I couldn’t sit comfortably, and immediately after peeing I would have this immense pressure, and sharp stabbing pain that would come in waves. You could literally physically FEEL the pain moving inside my body. I had my husband place his hand on my lower back and even he could feel where it would move. It was the weirdest thing ever.

At first I thought it was really intense bloating and cramping for whatever reason. I definitely shouldn’t be at this time. Then I had the fine idea that it MIGHT be kidney stones which freaked me out! I hear those things are worse than child birth, and one of the number one reasons I personally don’t want a child is because of the immense pain. There was no way I was going to pass a kidney stone. I rather go to the Emergency Room, pay out of the nose for an ultrasound and have those things blasted out of me.

Anyways, after freaking myself out on WebMD and Mayo Clinic I could barely sleep. The pain and the stress literally kept me up all night. Right when I would be slipping into a slumber, I would immediately wake up. Not one wink…. *le siiiiiigh*

Even though the pain had subsided by 4:00am when my alarm goes off, I was probably running off of 3 hours of sleep and there was NO way I was gonna try to go to the gym on that, lift heavy things, and go experience a classic Monday at work. No thanks, I wouldn’t be a pleasant person to work with today under those conditions.

So I’ve decided to push back my workout schedule to start tomorrow and I will work out this upcoming Sunday instead of taking it off for a rest day. Boo, I really hate doing that. I think Monday work outs are important, and an excellent way to start the week. I won’t stress about it, I rather treat my body and my mind right. I don’t have enough steam.

Tomorrow the real madness and sweating begins. Today, catching up on needed rest and eating healthy.

Until tomorrow! body

~Jess